Category Archives: Married Life
It’s been only a few months I’ve been married but now my husband has started neglecting me. I do not feel as close as before. The little affectionate things and feelings have started disappearing from our couple life… please help!!!
- Chant “CHICORY, GENTIAN, WILLOW, BEECH, WALNUT, AQUAMARINE” for 100 times.
- Write the above names in a piece of paper and keep it under your pillow.
CHICORY, GENTIAN, WILLOW, BEECH and WALNUT are Bach Flower Remedies.
Love lost: CHICORY and GENTIAN
Release blame, and resentment: WILLOW, BEECH and improve rapport: WALNUT
Develop affection: AQUAMARINE (gem remedy)
Joe told me that her husband has friends in Facebook and spends most of the time with them. He hardly finds time for her. If she questions him, he tries to beat her.
Joe once told me that her husband threatened to kill her with a knife. Knowing her husband, who is a friendly and Joe a nagging person, I didn’t take her statement seriously back then. May be it would have happened out of frustration from her husband’s side than trying to kill her.
So, I consulted Naran as this case is a complex one.
Ask her to do the following exercise. No remedies will work for her, unless she does it.
Ask her to affirm as many times as possible, “I release the part that ignores him. I align with that part that loves him deeply and totally”.
In fact, this exercise can be done by all couples.
Husband thinks so. If you ask his wife, she will say that she is the only person who can tolerate her husband. I am talking about the couple I know here.
Both of them were consulting me for more than a year. They followed my instructions sincerely. Yet, the situation remained the same – they were continuing to fight with each other.
Then one day a miracle happened. The husband saw the blog I had earlier posted in WordPress: http://wp.me/ptUIO-2f.
He simply took the statement from the post – “I am not the doer. Divine is the doer”, as an affirmation and continued to chant it.
After few days of chanting his anger came down and felt his wife has born in this world for his sake, thanks to the divine, so that necessary healing can happen for him, and thereby his karma is nullified.
We might give remedies and healing techniques. Only divine decides which one will work. Divine’s way is too mysterious for us to comprehend in one lifetime!!!
How can we give up thinking about future as we see so many broken and unhappy marriages in my surroundings? So, this kind of fear comes.
When a thought comes, check the mind by saying, “If this thought gives me fear, why don’t I release this?”
“Can I release this?”
Just say “I let go this thought which gives me fear”.
You can also ask another question, “What thought gives me fearlessness?”
Come with as many thoughts as possible.
When a thought that gives you safety or trust appears, welcome it and release it.
It is a game! Play!!
My husband keeps complains that in this world, “Everyone hates me. I have no good friends, relatives. Because everyone tries to take advantage of me, I keep away from my relatives and friends”.
Also, my husband does not like me inviting anyone on the weekends, meet anyone outside and visit any of my relatives or friends house. He insults me and abuses me in front of others.
Knowing this some of my friends does not want to visit my house as they cannot take what my husband does to me. Literally, I have no one visiting my new house.
I do not know what to do. Can you suggest something?
Chant “BEECH, WILLOW, HOLLY, AGRIMONY, CHERRY PLUM”
Beech, Willow, Holly, Agrimony, and Cherry Plum are Bach Flower Remedies. This is one of the combinations – HARMONY PACK, I suggest for finding harmony within one’s family.
Blaming others for one’s problems: WILLOW
Intense rage and suspicions’ about some members in the family: HOLLY
Seeking peace: AGRIMONY
Not to lose control: CHERRY PLUM
As you said, I am chanting “TOGETHER DIVINE” and “REVERSE BOW CONCEDE”, but with no use. He just tells me to go away from his life. He always tells that.
You had asked me to analyze what is that in me that makes me quarrel with him. I was deeply hurt by him emotionally on more than 5 occasions that wounds have not healed at all.
So whenever he tells me something with kind of hatred, all those bad memories come back to me.
But the problem is not exactly that. He always tries to pick on something to create a dispute. Be it his fault or mine, it points towards me and each time he says that “I don’t need you, go away from my life”.
Due to recurring fights, now I have become numb towards all these.
He doesn’t allow me to go for work even though I have done my masters and currently doing my Ph.D. He doesn’t give me any money at all and I don’t need that too, I don’t ask for it.
He is a kind of “passive aggressive husband”. I don’t know why he is like this.
I love him a lot and I don’t want to leave him coz I think that he loves me too. I am really desperate to get out of this situation. I want peace and love in my family.
He is not talking and he does not have food from home – this is what he does when we have fights. But this time it’s been 3 weeks now.
I will be able to handle the future, coz if I remain calm then the fight would be lesser (actually I was doing this for the past 1 year).
It is quite surprising when you say you love him.
But you are not able to forget the wounds. As long as you nurse and nurture these emotional hurts, you can never have harmony (in marriage).
If you want to be with him and really love him why do you expect love from him?
First give (it to him).
Give profusely from the heart.
Find out why you love him. Find those qualities in him that makes you love him. Thank him for that.
You are writing this from your point of view. You have already decided that he is a passive aggressive husband.
If that is so, he cannot take initiative towards harmony. If you don’t bow or concede you can never have the life you want.
What should I do to get harmony?
Go all out and give love.
What should I not do to get harmony?
Stop your blaming tendencies.
Stop the feeling that you are hurt.
It is important for you to be in love than to be right.
Each day think about ways and means by which you can re-associate emotionally.
Your resistance (to love) is your enemy.
Change your heart first to change his heart.
My husband never talks to me lot but talks to other girls and women.
When we go to function he shares all his works to other women which he has not told me. If I call him to any place he says no time, but spend time for his mom and his sisters.
I want my husband to respect me and share only to me.
Do you respect your husband?
Yes I respect him, help him a lot and I tell all the things to him before he asks or others tell him.
But many a times I have come to know about him from others – business or family matters. Only if I ask him he will say. I feel hurt at that time.
He wants me to invite his brother and sis-in-law, but argues with me and starts a fight. But never ask them a word if they talk false of me.
Do the forgiving exercise.
Write TOGETHER DIVINE daily 100 times and 11 times with the left hand (if you are a right-hander)
Please check out this blog: http://findlifeanswers.wordpress.com/2012/03/13/i-deserve-respect/
Referring the article: http://theflowerangels.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/be-happy-dont-worry/
I read your article about the Bach Flower Remedy GENTIAN. Actually, I am the same kind of unlucky person.
So, I wanted to use it on my wedding day. From the morning I chanted GENTIAN and HONEY SUCKLE.
The following incidents happened:
- First thing in the morning my son didn’t cry much to go to school that day.
- After his schooling we went to temple with the fear it may be closed. But, I was surprised to see it was open and we saw “Uchi Kala Pooja” (mid-day prayers).
- Then we went for the lunch in a very good hotel. Usually, when we go for lunch, my situation will be that I will never get a dish which I order. My son will never eat nor leave me to eat peacefully. But what happened that day was we chose a buffet. Next it was a hotel with metro train interiors where my son could enjoy a lot and ate too.
- Usually, I regret any kind of purchase I make. This time, my husband wanted to gift me a watch. When we went to the store, I didn’t find anything satisfied. Suddenly my husband pointed a beautiful one, which was out of our budget. However, he happily got it for me.
- Then at night we went for a movie (since my son was born, first time we went to theatre after 3 years). I was scared as to how to handle my nagging son. Luckily we got corner seat and my son was enjoying walking up and down while we enjoyed the movie.
On the whole, that day was a total surprise to me. Really it is the most pleasant day.
Thanks for all your help.
To remain satisfied of your actions: GENTIAN
With no regrets: HONEY SUCKLE