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Go away from my life

Savi

As you said, I am chanting “TOGETHER DIVINE” and “REVERSE BOW CONCEDE”, but with no use. He just tells me to go away from his life. He always tells that.

You had asked me to analyze what is that in me that makes me quarrel with him. I was deeply hurt by him emotionally on more than 5 occasions that wounds have not healed at all.

So whenever he tells me something with kind of hatred, all those bad memories come back to me.

But the problem is not exactly that. He always tries to pick on something to create a dispute. Be it his fault or mine, it points towards me and each time he says that “I don’t need you, go away from my life”.

Due to recurring fights, now I have become numb towards all these.

He doesn’t allow me to go for work even though I have done my masters and currently doing my Ph.D. He doesn’t give me any money at all and I don’t need that too, I don’t ask for it.

He is a kind of “passive aggressive husband”. I don’t know why he is like this.

I love him a lot and I don’t want to leave him coz I think that he loves me too. I am really desperate to get out of this situation. I want peace and love in my family.

He is not talking and he does not have food from home – this is what he does when we have fights. But this time it’s been 3 weeks now.

I will be able to handle the future, coz if I remain calm then the fight would be lesser (actually I was doing this for the past 1 year).

Naran

It is quite surprising when you say you love him.

But you are not able to forget the wounds. As long as you nurse and nurture these emotional hurts, you can never have harmony (in marriage).

If you want to be with him and really love him why do you expect love from him?

First give (it to him).

Give profusely from the heart.

Find out why you love him. Find those qualities in him that makes you love him. Thank him for that.

You are writing this from your point of view. You have already decided that he is a passive aggressive husband.

If that is so, he cannot take initiative towards harmony. If you don’t bow or concede you can never have the life you want.

What should I do to get harmony?

Go all out and give love.

What should I not do to get harmony?

Stop your blaming tendencies.

Stop the feeling that you are hurt.

 It is important for you to be in love than to be right. 

Each day think about ways and means by which you can re-associate emotionally.

Your resistance (to love) is your enemy.

Change your heart first to change his heart.

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My husband never talks to me

Sasi

My husband never talks to me lot but talks to other girls and women.

When we go to function he shares all his works to other women which he has not told me. If I call him to any place he says no time, but spend time for his mom and his sisters.

I want my husband to respect me and share only to me.

Naran

Do you respect your husband?

Sasi

Yes I respect him, help him a lot and I tell all the things to him before he asks or others tell him.

But many a times I have come to know about him from others – business or family matters. Only if I ask him he will say. I feel hurt at that time.

He wants me to invite his brother and sis-in-law, but argues with me and starts a fight. But never ask them a word if they talk false of me.

Naran

Do the forgiving exercise.

Write TOGETHER DIVINE daily 100 times and 11 times with the left hand (if you are a right-hander)

Please check out this blog: http://findlifeanswers.wordpress.com/2012/03/13/i-deserve-respect/

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