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Fear of Intimacy

Patient

I was blindly chanting the affirmations for the last few days:

I release the part that ignores her”.

“I align with that part that loves her deeply and totally

I was surprised that I had been ignoring not only my wife, but in the past, my mother, my sister and my ex-girl-friend too. I think that’s why I had a break-up with my ex-girl-friend. I used to think she left me. Now, I realize I am the reason behind it.

Anyway, how do you know I was ignoring my wife?

Naran

The part that reacts to outside world (say, blaming others for your problems) is your outer-self.

The part that witnesses your outbursts is another self, which does the watching game and is the inner-self. Even when you react negatively, the inner-self is not worried. It keeps quiet.

When you keep releasing, you will go deeper and deeper and eventually you will touch the silent-self, which is beyond positive and negative.

Now, you have touched the silent-self for a little while. Because of that you have found out the truth that it’s your wife who’s reacting to you. So when you change, she will change too.

Now answering to your question, “How do you know I was ignoring my wife?”

Ignoring our loved ones shows we have a fear of intimacy – afraid to get closer to loved ones. Therefore, we use conflicts to get away from our loved ones, exhibiting our fear of intimacy.

Keep doing the affirmations for some more time, so that you will understand better and better how you are culprit behind your problems. In a way, this will stop your blaming (WILLOW) and make you take responsibility for your thoughts and actions.

This way, you will be empowered to take charge of your life.

Related Blogs:

Learn to manage your fears: http://wp.me/pwblL-3G

Fear manifests what we do not want: http://wp.me/ptUMq-3O

Play happy

Madhu

How can we give up thinking about future as we see so many broken and unhappy marriages in my surroundings? So, this kind of fear comes.

Naran

When a thought comes, check the mind by saying, “If this thought gives me fear, why don’t I release this?”

“Can I release this?”

Just say “I let go this thought which gives me fear”.

You can also ask another question, “What thought gives me fearlessness?”

Come with as many thoughts as possible.

When a thought that gives you safety or trust appears, welcome it and release it.

It is a game! Play!!

Good Spouse vs. Bad Spouse

Bad Spouse

Kavita

My husband has started defaming me on social networking sites now.Please let me know if I’ll ever be able to win back his lost love for me?

Naran

Do the forgiving exercise for him

Download a picture of Emerald and keep it under the pillow.

Chant AGRIMONY CRAB APPLE ADJUST TOGETHER CHANGE NOW

Good Spouse

D

At the end of a life of total sacrifice and devotion to her partner in dharma, didn’t mother Sita cry in anguish and say ‘Mother take me into your lap. I can’t take this anymore!!!’, till mother earth parted to gather her pain.

This was in spite of having the most revered person Sri Rama as her husband and it being a world of Truth (Satya Yug)!

If it is ball comes that comes back as pain and suffering (or joy and happiness) what ball did mother Sita throw?

She is referring, “Have a Ball of Love”: http://togetherrelationship.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/have-a-ball-of-love/ here.

Naran

The wonderful question!

Rama and Sita, yes they loved each other very intensely. Nothing can separate them. They had so much of trust in each other.

Then why did Rama deport Sita just for the sake of one dhobi (washer man) who questioned the chastity of Sita.

Is it because Ram also had the same doubt about Sita in him? No! It is a categorical no.

Rama’s love for Sita was so total and complete – we can also say they both represent the ideal husband wife relationship – that he could not have an iota of doubt at all.

Then why did he deport Sita to her utter dismay?

Rama was the one person who could understand the mass psychology better than anybody else.
Had he ignored the comment of the dhobi, thinking, “I know better? My Sita is beyond all this”, how many false stories would have been concocted, down the history tarnishing the image of Sita!

Because Ram did not want this to happen, he took the harsh decision against his own will.
For Rama, protecting Sita’s character was more important. Can anyone bear if his wife is blamed as characterless?

Think how tormented he would have been, before taking the decision.

Rama had total trust in her. He is happily bearing all the blames people have been inflicting on him, just for the sake of his love for Sita.

Sita’s name is more important for which he sacrificed his name, taking the blame on him. Rama’s action is the vindication of Divine love.

On the day of SRI RAMA NAVAMI (19-4-2013), let us have the blessing of the most Divine couple Sita and Rama SRI RAM JAYA RAM JAYA JAYA RAM.

Final Note

Look at the plight of the lady who has asked me a question. How much torture she would have gone through, when her own husband writes badly about her, in social websites? 

Disharmony in Family and Marriage

Switch Words

WITH means is to be compatible with the opposite or concerned person.

Chant the switch words, “TOGETHER DIVINE WITH … (Name of the person)” when you want the other person to agree with you.

When you want a harmonious atmosphere chant CLEAR TOGETHER DIVINE WITH. If you chant this switch word combination, the atmosphere will change beautifully.

Don’t bother about the names of the persons who need harmony. Just chant CLEAR TOGETHER DIVINE WITH.  Still it works beautifully.

At the subconscious level of the mind there is no ‘you’ and ‘me’. Everything is one. At the subconscious level there is no differentiation, all are one.

The difference is because of the body, and of the mind’s association with the body. That’s why we see the difference between each other

Bach Flower Remedies

Resolving the destructive tendencies – if relationship is to be mended then take the following remedies:

  • AGRIMONY for open communication
  • BEECH to understand other’s point of view; to have tolerance
  • WILLOW to stop blaming and to forgive
  • WALNUT to adjust and to be compromising
  • CHERRY PLUM not to burst out
  • HOLLY for suspicion and back biting
  • CHICORY to give and not to force one

Naran’s Products

From the introduction of Inner Smile CD: “We normally ignore our organs. We always take the body for granted. The day when we send our love, our smile to the organs, they become our friends. A friendly relationship with our organs is a must to maintain our harmony outside. If there is conflict or disharmony in others, become silent and send your love to your organs. A weekly listening of the CD will establish harmony in every aspect of our life”.

Rule your Mind

How to purchase the harmony I seek in my life? Ask a simple question to yourself.

What do I want?

What emotions or thoughts I need to have so that I can achieve what I want.

What behavior of mine or my action will take me move towards this goal?

On the other hand, what state of mind will take me away from my goal – my anger or forgiveness, my worry or my endurance (giving love in spite of not receiving), and my sadness or my fortitude?

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