Fear of Intimacy

Patient

I was blindly chanting the affirmations for the last few days:

“I release the part that ignores her”.

“I align with that part that loves her deeply and totally”

I was surprised that I had been ignoring not only my wife, but in the past, my mother, my sister and my ex-girl-friend too. I think that’s why I had a break-up with my ex-girl-friend. I used to think she left me. Now, I realize I am the reason behind it.

Anyway, how do you know I was ignoring my wife?

Naran

The part that reacts to outside world (say, blaming others for your problems) is your outer-self.

The part that witnesses your outbursts is another self, which does the watching game and is the inner-self. Even when you react negatively, the inner-self is not worried. It keeps quiet.

When you keep releasing, you will go deeper and deeper and eventually you will touch the silent-self, which is beyond positive and negative.

Now, you have touched the silent-self for a little while. Because of that you have found out the truth that it’s your wife who’s reacting to you. So when you change, she will change too.

Now answering to your question, “How do you know I was ignoring my wife?”

Ignoring our loved ones shows we have a fear of intimacy – afraid to get closer to loved ones. Therefore, we use conflicts to get away from our loved ones, exhibiting our fear of intimacy.

Keep doing the affirmations for some more time, so that you will understand better and better how you are culprit behind your problems. In a way, this will stop your blaming (WILLOW) and make you take responsibility for your thoughts and actions.

This way, you will be empowered to take charge of your life.

Related Blogs:

Learn to manage your fears: http://wp.me/pwblL-3G

Fear manifests what we do not want: http://wp.me/ptUMq-3O

Husband threatens to kill me

Sam

Joe told me that her husband has friends in Facebook and spends most of the time with them. He hardly finds time for her. If she questions him, he tries to beat her.

Joe once told me that her husband threatened to kill her with a knife. Knowing her husband, who is a friendly and Joe a nagging person, I didn’t take her statement seriously back then. May be it would have happened out of frustration from her husband’s side than trying to kill her.

So, I consulted Naran as this case is a complex one.

Naran

Ask her to do the following exercise. No remedies will work for her, unless she does it.

Ask her to affirm as many times as possible, “I release the part that ignores him. I align with that part that loves him deeply and totally”.

In fact, this exercise can be done by all couples.

Harmony packed for marriage

Roopa

My husband keeps complains that in this world, “Everyone hates me. I have no good friends, relatives. Because everyone tries to take advantage of me, I keep away from my relatives and friends”.

Also, my husband does not like me inviting anyone on the weekends, meet anyone outside and visit any of my relatives or friends house.  He insults me and abuses me in front of others.

Knowing this some of my friends does not want to visit my house as they cannot take what my husband does to me. Literally, I have no one visiting my new house.

I do not know what to do. Can you suggest something?

Naran

Chant “BEECH, WILLOW, HOLLY, AGRIMONY, CHERRY PLUM”

Explanation

Beech, Willow, Holly, Agrimony, and Cherry Plum are Bach Flower Remedies. This is one of the combinations – HARMONY PACK, I suggest for finding harmony within one’s family.

Fault-finding: BEECH

Blaming others for one’s problems: WILLOW

Intense rage and suspicions’ about some members in the family: HOLLY

Seeking peace: AGRIMONY

Not to lose control: CHERRY PLUM

My husband never talks to me

Sasi

My husband never talks to me lot but talks to other girls and women.

When we go to function he shares all his works to other women which he has not told me. If I call him to any place he says no time, but spend time for his mom and his sisters.

I want my husband to respect me and share only to me.

Naran

Do you respect your husband?

Sasi

Yes I respect him, help him a lot and I tell all the things to him before he asks or others tell him.

But many a times I have come to know about him from others – business or family matters. Only if I ask him he will say. I feel hurt at that time.

He wants me to invite his brother and sis-in-law, but argues with me and starts a fight. But never ask them a word if they talk false of me.

Naran

Do the forgiving exercise.

Write TOGETHER DIVINE daily 100 times and 11 times with the left hand (if you are a right-hander)

Please check out this blog: http://findlifeanswers.wordpress.com/2012/03/13/i-deserve-respect/

Conflict Resolution

Blogs by Naran S Balakumar

Resolving Conflicts with Your Spouse: http://healbyswitchword.wordpress.com/2013/01/16/resolving-conflict-with-your-spouse/

Getting out of Troubled Waters: http://healbyanimalspirits.wordpress.com/2009/04/17/jelly-fish-for-troubled-water/

My husband threw me out: http://healbymeditation.wordpress.com/2011/02/09/my-husband-drives-me-nuts/

I feel small, when he criticizes me: http://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2010/01/19/i-feel-small-when-he-criticizes-me-%e2%80%93-a-case-history/

Art of convincing your spouse and children: http://healbyanimalspirits.wordpress.com/2011/02/09/wolf-my-pal/